My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The uberlube is also flammable
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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