I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
