No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
