I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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