I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
