Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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