I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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