Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
