I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
love makes seman taste better
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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