I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
