the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
