Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
