addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
