i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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