Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize