Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
