ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
where am i from again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
