Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize