if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize