hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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