I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
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She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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