i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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