I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
