Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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