I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
