tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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