yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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