I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
