How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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