hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
