Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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