I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
