well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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