I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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