I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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