Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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