so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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