DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
