Already got asked if we're dating
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
