its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
