butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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