The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
