I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
