What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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