oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
