Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
