this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
