Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less

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  (908): i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less http://tfl.nu/aust
  Replies (35) Good night (6343) Bad night (492)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.

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  (636): My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week. http://tfl.nu/9o0t
  Replies (5) Good night (3646) Bad night (488)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?

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  (480): He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere. (602): Why would he say turtle mid-fuck? http://tfl.nu/okxi
  Replies (17) Good night (5714) Bad night (1190)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

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  (270): Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance? http://tfl.nu/nz1e
  Replies (8) Good night (5343) Bad night (897)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.

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  (727): i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7vie
  Replies (27) Good night (3509) Bad night (946)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.

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  (407): I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down. http://tfl.nu/6857
  Replies (5) Good night (2828) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science

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  (416): Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science http://tfl.nu/y3kb
  Replies (12) Good night (1934) Bad night (1927)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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  (919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x
  Replies (20) Good night (1199) Bad night (3177)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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  (662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98
  Replies (28) Good night (7103) Bad night (898)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry my hands just texted you

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  (613): Sorry my hands just texted you http://tfl.nu/r5db
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (416)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.

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  (214): Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/4t9f
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (462)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.

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  (250): Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November. http://tfl.nu/s7yk
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (300)
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  (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

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  (415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5
  Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (327)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.

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  (701): You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again. http://tfl.nu/km7p
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"

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  (734): The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!" http://tfl.nu/glab
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (154)

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