i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.