remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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