I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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