he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
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