i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.