# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
