I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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