Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
