its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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