Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
