I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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