Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
