And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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