Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
