we're blogging at a bar
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
