My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
