i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
